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This is going to be a short and quick entry… I was in the shower just now starting to think about this definition of "Happiness"… Lately I have discovered this so call happiness… a lot people will define it differently… and i wonder what’s yours…

1) Shower them with gift… like buy them expensive stuff etc etc… Is this fulfilling to you? Is this happiness?

2) Not much of material but attention… How bout this? Is this happiness?

Just like a husband and wife or partner… when a man think that they can’t afford as in financially can’t afford, they think they can’t give a woman happiness but in the other way round when their partner think if you give me a lil more of your attention and that is happiness to her… i still think female and male’s definition of happiness is so so much different..

I notice a lot of people can’t live in a more balance life… like they can’t pay as much attention on their job as well as their family… Is always a workaholic or a family man… When they are workaholic then they tend to lose their patience with their family or when they face a problem with their family and their office will be in mess…  that is just life i guess… ok the end of my short entry… dinner time… think about it, shower a person with lots lots of gift may not be as good as an extra attention that you give… well it doesn’t mean no gift at all… maybe a lil surprise will do your relationship good… spice it up… ok ok i better stop, my bro keep calling me for dinner already…. ciao…

Well it’s been a month since my last update… what have I been doing for the past month I guess is all about exercise haha… ever since cny I think I put on a lil bit of weight… which I don’t how obvious but every friends of mine who see me again was like… “hey, you are chubbier now” so I don’t know is it a good things or bad things… when you are a bit chubbier I guess body more curvier so is nicer but then again when you think about all the new clothes that hanging around your closet is getting tighter and tighter you just feel like a waste of money… coz you wouldn’t want to wear it because it makes you uncomfortable… so at that moment I know if I don’t do something about it very soon I will need to change my wardrobe again… and there it goes all my money… it just flow away… so now since I’ve already paying for the yoga classes might as well make used of it… ever since I started in January I kinda addicted to it… as you know, when something is still new to you, you are definitely have the strong spirit to go for it, in another way very addictive… but after my cny break I tend to get a lil lazy but have to keep thinking about my size been increasing so I better do something about it.. as I did, right now I think I manage to shed some pounds away… but then look skinny… sigh… why la… things just can’t get perfect… so still keeping up my 3-4 times a week routine… hope it won’t die off…

Other than myself on that, “on going” exercise there is another thing I would love to share… You know when you are too free and living in a not so pressure kinda life, you tend to see partner or you call it girlfriend boyfriend stuff very important… you will feel sad or unfortunate when you have not found the right one at this age… when I think about it, yes at times I feel lonely but what so unfortunate when you look at other ppl’s life when they lost something which is more precious? I just help my maid to call her family back in Indonesia and something happened to her family… I just found out that her mother pass away… she was there crying, I’m trying hard to console her but I guess I’m not good enough as she still crying… she said she felt miserable as she couldn’t get to see her mom when she is still holding her last breath… sigh… I don’t know what to say to her as my bahasa is bad… I consoled her with my Malay mix English and with all the sign language, just don’t know if she understand… after all this, I think appreciate your family members more, as in shower them with more love is more important than thinking about all the unnecessary things… if you get what I mean… final words… ” go go jia you!! Elsie and also everybody”

Well today is the sixth day of my chinese new year of 2007… opss after 12am should be the 7th day already… hmmm so fast cny is going to be over soon… gosh this cny is like food fiesta to me… been eating day and night or should I said been eating like 5 - 6 meals a day… sleep late woke up late… so so unhealthy… makes me a lazy person… have not been going for yoga classes for a week already, how am I gonna build my 2 packs? Had a bet with a friend for building up that 2 packs and the due date is in July, I wonder if I can do it… what a bet isn’t it haha… ppl wanna build 6 packs and I’m only building 2 packs with what my lifestyle for the past week is going to be very tough for me to build it… There’s always a phrase and it goes "if you think you can, you can" hahaha…  I’m gonna work hard after this cny or else for the past month of work out all gone down to the drain… will have a few more dinner attend… I think I can only take a break after the 9th… how can I stop eating all the yummy cookies, pineapple tart etc and the worst thing is drinks… although don’t drink everyday but with all the brilliant drinking games that cousin’s suggested it’s enough for a the whole month…

I think from tomorrow onward I have to discipline myself or else I’m sure lose for that betting… I just came back from dinner awhile ago and i ate so much till my tummy going to burst…  trying hard to stay up for at least an hour before heading to bed… don’t want to be a piggy after food then sleep but my eyes is closing arrrrrr I’m going to doze off… I guess is about time for me to go to bed and tomorrow shall not eat so much before my bed time… I can feel that my fingers is getting lighter, got no more energy to continue typing as my brain dying to shut down… shall not torture it and let it rest… that’s all for now… good nite…

Lately been out a bit just like the past 2 weekends… ever since I’ve started my yoga classes I felt a lil healthier other than being a lazy bum sticking around at home, at least I’ve got something to do during my off work evening… Been attending the class three times a week and I think that is the most i can go at the moment… I guess I’m still pretty new to this "yoga" and I felt as if it’s going to break my bone hahaha… oh gosh when the instructor asking me to bend lower and lower I was like OMG help… I can’t do it coz it’s going to break hahaha… but after doing it,I felt so much of satisfaction for the least i’ve tried… and that’s a good start i guess… other than that i’ve been catching up with friends.. In life we just discover new things daily… although some of the things it may fade away in just glance but for the experience we stand strong and learn… it sounds a bit confusing but that is the most i can tell hahaha… Sometimes when we are out of a situation we always have a clearer mind or maybe i shall say we act in a better way or make better decision… but when till it happen to us we began to fall in dilemma… last weekend i attended a wedding and for every weddings is always a good start but whether or not the relationship will last forever after we don’t know… but i just know one thing before we give up we always have to try our very best… I’ve seen people get together and separate and i notice is always 1 person are being a bit more selfish to just care about own self but not the other person… yes, they may said "this decision i made is better off for you"… actually did they ever ask the other person? Is that exactly how he or she feels? or is it just assumptions that ownself made… whenever i attend a wedding the moment we are in there is always the best feeling ever, is like "love is in the air" even every couple feel the love… is nice isn’t it? Isn’t it that is the way it suppose to be after the wedding too? Because the more time a couple spends together the bonding is stronger? I kinda feel sorry for those couple that didn’t last till the end… and the worst thing is whatever decision that the couple make it doesn’t include the baby or the children… so that is still selfish… i think i better not mention too much of all this sour things… I think it would scare those friends who is getting marry… no matter how bad things is, of coz there is the opposite one which means good things… Looking at my parent sometimes I felt kinda happy as both my parent still in love… is nice to see them… and is like having a bright light shinning and the end of the road… there is still hope to build a wonderful family… so I wish, to those who are in love lets the love shine brightly…

I want to warn those who take train to work or to do shopping during weekend… Last week my aunt got some friends from Singapore who came over for a short holiday and this friend of hers who is about 6 footer and he is quite huge and to his surprise that a guy like him will not be safe traveling around with our public transport… for convenient sake he decided to take a train down to KL… and as usual he will do a transit in KL sentral… guess what ? That day was a bit crowded at sentral so when people pushing around, without hesitation we will be more careful about our stuff… as he was trying to watch over his camera, phone and wallet… there is this group of foreigner, I’m not sure whether they are Indonesian or Bangladeshi who gang up and all standing around him and snatch away his camera… even when he call for help because of so many people no one can help him… they are in a group maybe about five of them and once they took it and they pass around so he couldn’t do much and lost his camera… he didn’t make a police report coz he can’t recognize them… so to those who take our public transport please please be careful ok…

Lately I just feel my body is lots heavier to compare to the last time… makes me so lazy to move around… is it because I’ve put on weight? Everyone around me will just tell me "noooo, you are not fat, you look just fine…" some is even worst… said that i actually lost weight :s… confuse…but but but… the weighting machine tells me YES!!! I’ve put on a bit sigh… how to look good for New Year? it is just a week apart… Got any fast and effective slimming program? Anybody can intro? You must be thinking I’m nuts… what to do, when I’m not willing to diet yet desperately wanted to slim down and looks good… Diet is always a torture especially when all the good food in front of you and you just sit and watch… I think I’ve tried but failed hahaha…

Hmmm what is my New Year resolution…?

1. Slim down… hahahaha
2. Start my yoga class.. *this also a resolution haha*
3. Improve myself.. *is there anything that i need to change,i wonder*
4. Having more friends.. *hehe*
5. Have to learn to be a stronger person..*in terms of character and personality*
6,7,8 and lots more but my laziness hit me again muahahaha… shall rest already… tired… maybe another time only i update the rest kekeke… but before i go…

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!!!

Life has been so hectic for the year of 2006… it’s gonna over soon yay… well i would say too much of outings and is time to make a change… last month was a good month for me as i get a complete family trips and gathering…complete means every family member is around me… ever since my jie jie married and migrated to aus, we just hardly have that precious family moment… it’s been a long time… now i know how much i miss that moment… unfortunately a month passes too quickly and so fast it ends and my jie jie have gone back to aus… sigh… that was my sweet november…

Life can be full of questions, regrets and surprise at time… sometimes you may not realize what things that you do will actually create what sort of impression and also it could make you lost something or someone who is precious to you… by just actions… why is a person not making an effort to see the real you? all sort of assumptions a person can make with their perfect eye sight… so basically impressions are important too… lets start to count down for this meaningful year to end… it’s time to make a change… is it too obvious that i make it sounds as if it was a bad year to me? is not that bad after all :p… hopefully next year is going to be a brand new joyful year to me…everything new… new positions, new lifestyle haha… hmmm hopefully with lots of new clothes too hahaha means get to shop hahaha… bad thoughts coz shopping is all about spending money again… but that can be a good way to reward ourselves after a long tired working year hehe sounds good right… haha bad influence hehe… i believe there is some ppl will agree with this statement… put it as "reward" haha… this year pass too quickly… will see what the following year would be… 

Just came back from the very short cruising trip… This is
my first time on cruise with Virgo and also taking a train to Singapore to embark to the cruise… It
was not only the beauty of this big and beautiful ship but also the horrible
first and last by taking a train… It was so horrible coz not only it took
extremely long to get to Singapore,
is also very dirty and uncomfy… Can you imagine it takes so long yet not comfortable?
Whatever it is, I personally think is really not worth wasting so much time on
that train but till you get in to the ship I guess you will forget the
bitterness in that train haha… The ship is beautiful and lots of activities
with their facilities… Is quite relaxing and it can be a small lil honeymoon
vacation haha coz i think it can be quite romantic to walk around that ship at
night ;p…

There is another once in a life time experience thing that happened while on
cruise as I saw a tornado so close to the ship in the middle of the sea… Is
exactly what you see in that movie Twister… The whole thing from the sky to
the sea and you can see that the sea water was spinning and splashing…here is
the picture i took with my phone and the ship is moving too fast and within minutes it is already far away…

After the whole trip i thought maybe i can go home with a
comfortable coach and who knows taking a coach can actually have sleepless
night… I think its all begin when we reach Singapore and feeling all tired
and trying to get a quick dinner and as usual we as in me and my family wanted
to find place with more choices ended up we had one in Harbour Front or is it
call Vivo City… After the dinner we went and ask around where is the place
where we take our bus, so happen my brother asked this particular person and he
said the journey to that place was 30 - 45mins where it only takes 15 mins…
Because of that miscommunication we actually rush like mad, as the time we
found out was already 9.15pm and the
time we suppose to catch the bus was like 10pm.
What scare us was the queue for us to hailed a cab was like so so long… and
we finally paid 3 times more just to get a there… After reaching Golden Miles
we got into the bus where we didn’t paid for is also fine…There got 2 drivers
to switch as our journey back was quite far… 1 of the driver is inexperience
maybe as half the journey through maybe he is sleepy or trying to reach the
destination much faster by driving really fast till he got out of control and
our bus actually sway left and
right… That is freaking me out… and after we shouted he slow down the speed
but his actions is crazy as he off the air cond and the headlights after few
second only he switch it on again…scary… and now I’m sleepy again shall go
to bed or else i will be off tomorrow…

For the past weeks or months i should say is holiday for me… been out of the country and back here… even that i’m back here, I’m still in the holiday mood… Eversince that i came back everything changed… just like a friendship that being different, people that you are hanging out with is different, the feeling you had in this place that you are living is different etc etc… too many changes, sometimes it makes me feel a lil uncomfortable… but what can i do or expect? this is life… things changed when time pass us by… Why do i have this uneasy feeling? although i’ve been out and enjoying myself but still somehow is not complete… Just like last night and tonight… Last night i was out at this usual club but the feeling i had in there is like i’m in another world compare to those people who were dancing and drinking… I guess maybe because i wasn’t feeling that well thats why… and as for tonight, by right i shall feel happy on what had happened, but the moment i step inside my house, deep down inside i isn’t that happy after all… maybe because i can sense there would be some changes after tonight… so what if i want it to stay? things are just beyond my control… I think is time for me to move on… what is tomorrow going to be? I think it doesn’t matter… just like what i read in the that email, this is one email that i really want to share… i think i will just paste the whole email in this blog so that you will understand what i’m trying to say…

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a
$20.00 bill.

In the room of 200, he asked,

"Who would like this $20
bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this
$20 to one of you

but first, let me do this.

He proceeded to
crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants
it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What
if I do this?"

And he dropped it on the ground

and started to
grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and
dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the
air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No
matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it

because it did not
decrease in value.

It was still worth $20.

Many times in our
lives,

we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt

by the
decisions we make and

the circumstances that come our way.

We feel
as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened
or

what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or
clean, crumpled or finely creased,

you are still priceless to those who
DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we
know,

but by WHO WE ARE.

You are special- Don’t EVER forget
it."

Although it is just another forwarded mail but i think is a good reminder…

I’m sleepy but still want to post something and is better to tell or write it out then to keep it inside… Why do I feel so strange? After so many times that i went to melbourne and come back nothing special was just a lil rest and relax kinda holiday… but this time is different, if you would to ask me why so different? I really can’t give you an answer…I guess I miss the place, my sis and her kids and i also know, that would be the first country that i think i want to stay there for good… all these while i don’t feel that bad but this time really makes me want to go back to melbourne as soon as possible… I guess i prefer the life there then here in malaysia… isn’t it bad? the betrayer haha… some kinda of depression that keep coming back to me… back for almost a week but my heart is there, wow sounds so deep hahaha… as if melb is my lover keke… I think my mind just can’t think no more… this piglet need to sleep… everyday been feeling tired… what again??!! jet lag arrgh…  shitty feeling… I think i need to get some sleep before i can’t think of more to share… good nite…